Category Archives: Friends

My 9/11 tribute to my friend Graham


Graham Berkeley     January 12, 1964 – September 11, 2001

It seems surreal that more than a decade has passed since September 11, 2001. Each year, I take time to note the tragedy and my connection to it.  I shared a bit of my experience in a post I wrote a few years ago by the same title, My 9/11 tribute to my friend Graham.

September 11th remains etched in my memory not only because of the national tragedy but the personal loss and the fact that Sergio was flying that same route that month but happened to be in Brazil on vacation.  The shock of the scale of the attack combined with the personal loss and the thought that Sergio could have possibly been working that flight was more than my normally cool, calculated personality was able to process.

The anniversary remains a somber one but it no longer haunts me. In a strange way I look forward to remembering my friend, Graham, who inevitably dominates my thoughts on the days leading up to and on September 11th.  I won’t be posting anything else today as a tribute to Graham.  For all those impacted by this tragedy, you have my deepest sympathies.

Bidding a fond adieu to Large Tony

Third LegWhen I started blogging I never anticipated how much I would enjoy the activity nor how many people I would meet and come to consider a friend.  One of the hazards of meeting fellow bloggers is we all have our own expiration date; no blog is forever.

Last week a friend decided to call it quits with his blog.  It didn’t come as a surprise but it was sad all the same. He has a poets heart but a dirty mind.  The combo worked for me and over the years we’ve become friends. Some of his posts were so touching they would leave me wiping away tears like his spring post, Mommy and HeOthers would distract me to no end – sorry my blog can’t accommodate you with an example, but feel free to scroll through his third and final blog for such content, Third Leg.

I’ll miss your written words but look forward to staying in touch the old fashioned way – through Twittah (and of course the phone). :-)

abraços e beijos Tony

Thank you Michael

gay leather bearWhile I was in Provincetown last week this little guy showed up as a surprise gift from my friend Michael.  I think this little leather bear is adorable and love him.

Bathroom etiquette

how to make friendsBosGuy says go out this weekend and make some friends


If we are so connected why are we so lonely

Do you find that more of your time is spent online and less of your time is spent face-to-face conversations with friends or family?  This video is making the rounds, and I thought I’d share it.

I don’t feel lonely, I have a wonderful partner, strong family connections and a good group of friends who have known me for a long time and can call ‘bullshit’ when they see or hear it. However, I’m not immune to this feeling and I think many others feel this way too often.

Saturday night

Holiday PartyThis is a rather unique weekend in the US.  The final weekend of the year; sandwiched between two of the biggest holidays celebrated in America: Christmas and New Year’s.

Many of you will be stepping out with friends tonight, and I wanted to wish you a happy and fun night. Here are some photos from a recent party Sergio and I hosted earlier this week.  I wish I had more pictures of everyone who stopped by but perhaps it is a sign of a good party – we simply forgot to take pictures and then later in the evening the photos became even more blurry than some of the ones used in this post. A telltale sign of our own vision at that hour I’m certain.Holiday Party 5Holiday Party 3Holiday Party 6Holiday Party 4Holiday party pictures

Bravo Jesse

Dirk Caber

Facebook photo that banned Jesse Jackman

My friend Jesse made some news last month when a photo of him kissing his partner was removed by Facebook, citing it violated their community standards. Long story short, the situation was rectified by Facebook rather quickly, but Jesse has penned an article that is on the Huffington Post today, We Must (Not) Surrender  that addresses a rather ugly side to last month’s story.

“…Dirk and I certainly feel that the definition and enforcement of their Community Standards policy needs significant refinement. However, we do not believe that Facebook is the enemy here. Our true adversaries are those who posted the hate-filled comments in the first place.

I think we can agree that there needs to be a modicum of respect when we interact with each other via social media.  The threats and bullying Jesse and his partner had directed at them on Facebook is the real story. I’d encourage you to read Jesse’s full article on Huffington Post here.