I considered Tony a friend. News of his death was a shock but not completely surprising. I hadn’t been able to connect with him since early May and suspected something had happened. I’d left several messages that went unanswered and anyone who knows Tony would know that’s unlike him. As a result, I had a sense of impending dread, but as long as there was no news, I could assume he might suddenly ring me while driving home after being with the Attorney or returning from an errand.
For those who didn’t know him, Tony was a painter by profession but a writer at heart. He grew up poor in rural Tennessee and he had one great love, someone I only know as “The Attorney”. Tony and I initially met because we both wrote blogs and had a slight obsession with Twitter. His first blog included some unbelievably heartfelt stories about his adolescence and sexual awakening, his mother who passed away far too early (much like him), his distant father, and his aging grandmother (a.k.a. Granny) who he took care of until she passed.
It may seem strange to mourn a person I never met in person and who lived a 1,000 miles away, but we became friends over the years. It breaks my heart to think about his tragic death and his life partner who he leaves behind. Rest in peace my friend. You are very much loved and very much missed.
BosGuy 
Any idea if his blog writings have been preserved? It is strange to mourn someone one has never met, and yet through his writing and his revealing himself we feel we have known him.
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I agree but am unsure. I know that Tony essentially took down his older blogs. I couldn’t help but think of him last month when work took me to Nashville – even though the city is nowhere near where he lived in the state.
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I heard about Tony’s passing, and his blog, via Andy Cohen on SiriusXM just a few days ago. Apparently they had communicated online for 13 or so years, and he expressed sentiments similar to yours here. After hearing him talk about Tony, I had to search out his blog and yours came up in the search results. I’m so sorry for the loss for so many that he touched with his writings. I look forward to reading them all now.
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So sorry to read the news of Tony’s passing. I was introduced to his site via BosGuy and found his writing beautiful.
I do understand feeling grief for someone we’ve never met. Over the years, I became friends with Shane Smith who founded the veteran gay blog Stonewall Gazette. He was kind, smart, and like you, welcomed me into the gay blogosphere.
When he passed in December 2021, I was numb. I really enjoyed the long-distance friendship we’d developed.
Thinking best thoughts your way.
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Thank you Randy. Very sweet of you to comment.
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Maybe because I have had a very complicated year or because in a very short time I have lost two immense beings that I loved more than I thought. It could also be that I have been treating my depression for a year due to the causes already mentioned, it could be that not going out in the street makes me get involved in melancholy and sadness or it could also be that everything affects me emotionally? I think that actually the worst of all is that I have not yet been able to mourn my two loved ones and I was not aware of how much I loved them, the fact is that I understand your grief Rob, because I did not know of the existence of Tony and yet I feel a tremendous emptiness and a sadness as great as the one I felt the day these two ladies that I miss so much, passed away.
I still can’t cry, but it is true that my eyes are wet, although no tear ventures to fall down my cheeks.
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Heartbreaking news. I followed his blog because you shared it. I’m so sorry for your loss!! {{{{HUG}}}}
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Reading various blogs I’ve come to feel like I know the writer, even if I never comment or connect. It’s a relationship of a different sort. I’m sorry for your loss.
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I was so sad when I saw this. He will be missed.
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thinking of you and tony and the attorney and all his friends and family. long may he live in the hearts and memories f all who knew and loved him.
i think friends with folks you’ve never met is more and more possible thanks to the interwebs, and not as unlikely as done if us might think. take care.
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