Those rarest of relationships: Gay / Straight male best friends

male gay straight relationshipsThe Modern Gay posted a great article earlier this month entitled, The One Guy That Every Gay Man Needs In His Life. The article about male gay / straight relationships talks about how important and special a straight male best friend can be for a gay man.

The fact that many gay millennials’ response is likely, I have several close friends who are straight, shows how much progress has been made and also points to a significant divide in gay culture based on age.  Many guys my age (and older) felt they had to move away to come out and essentially started a new “gay” life; one devoid of any meaningful heterosexual male companionship.

I’m lucky because my life experience has been different. My younger brother and a collection of friends from childhood remain some of my closest friends. JVS says it perfectly when he writes:

“A straight best friend doesn’t see sexuality as a defining aspect of your friendship. You are not his “gay best friend” and he is not your “straight best friend”. While some straight girls excitingly seek a gay best friend as some sort of novelty accessory… You share similar values and similar tastes in music, sports, humor…”

Are you lucky enough to have a straight male buddy who knows you and has your back?  My guess is most guys in their 20s or younger would say ‘yes’ where as those in their 30s, 40s and older might struggle to think of someone they’ve talked to recently – let alone would confide in and consider a best friend.

6 responses to “Those rarest of relationships: Gay / Straight male best friends

  1. To me, this type of friendship is the most genuine, honest and uncomplicated of them all.


  2. yes have best friend to this day, we’ve shared sex, a couple girlfriends and even a couple 3somes and can remain friends with me occassionally asking jin to let me go down on him and make him feel good.. he enjoys being asked and our friendship survives intact to this day, many years later. we decided long ago i was hopelessly in whatever with him and he enjoyed the attentions d we’ve allowed sleeping together, sex and him fucking me at times, as he says to remind me he’s the man.. hah and we laugh about it, even when wee were caught camping and naked, me sucking him and two guys walked up and said it was their lucky day to have a cocksucker avail in the middle of nowhere…they spent the night and bext day having fun using my mouth and butt and javing my friend join in, they had mo idea oir history..was hot time, they left, we still laugh about it.. yes you can have a straight friend remain friends with sexnat times.. erite me if you have questions orwant to know more… i enjoy sharing all


  3. I am in my extremely late 30’s…okay, I’m 53. I have many straight guys as friends, who would have my back at all times. And, yes… These friends are in their 20’s and 30’s. We seem to have done a great job in educating our young people in the past few decades: For the most part they are much more accepting and just don’t give a f*** what others think.


  4. l was not allowed to be who I am during the early years of my sexual well being. It has been a real struggle. But now that I am older, wiser(?), and more comfortable with my self realization I hope there are younger people that realize what has been done for them…now that we older ‘fags’ paved the way. My best straight friend did not understand for the longest time, he now does.


  5. My best friend is straight. We’ve known each other since I was in my teens.


  6. I have a best straight guy friend – we met in middle school and he was one of the first people I came out to in 1976.



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