Every once in a while I read an article and have to wonder if the editor of The Onion has traded places just to pull the leg of its readers. Such is the case with Fast Company’s article this past Monday, about Hane’s new underwear, which is described as “a bra for your balls“.
I’ve never been obsessed with underwear the way many gay men are but reading this article has also reminded me of the chasm that I sometimes feel separates many gay men from their heterosexual counterparts. The article expounds that “pouches are a growing trend in men’s underwear.” Really? I can’t tell if the writer is having fun with puns or if until recently, Hanes underwear model was a Mattel Ken doll?
The craziest part of the article is that it took Hanes two years to design their “Total Support Pouch”, and they have a patent pending on the design. While I’m sure everyone is high-fiving themselves over at Hanes, nobody is going to want that patent. The thin strip of fabric appears as if it will give guys a bit of breathing space but it looks more befitting for the balls of a 12 year old boy (let alone the rest of the guy) for all the contouring it provides. Nevermind it looks ugly as f***. However, I will give Hanes props for the cheeky marketing, which I didn’t previously associate with the brand.
Some popular underwear brands that target the gay market seem to better understand the male anatomy and provide far better cupping for both his sausage and meatballs if you get my drift. Although the price point is a bit higher, I would be willing to bet that most men would prefer their wives buy their bras from Victoria Secret rather than Target. For all the straight men out there (not that you’d be reading this blog) splurge and spend a bit more than $19.99 for a pack of three Hanes white briefs and you might be surprised by how much more comfortable you are.
The article is both funny and eyeroll worthy. If nothing else it has inspired me to purchase underwear so hat tip to Fast Company but I’ll pass on the new Hanes design.
Much thanks to Rob Orange for bringing this article to my attention.