Category Archives: Friends

Then there was Matty

Lately life has been all work and no play, but this weekend with a good friend’s 40th birthday celebration planned for both Friday and Saturday and family time logged for an Easter brunch, I knew that I was not going to be thinking much of work. 

I ended up going to Club Cafe both Friday and Saturday night with my friend P.G. Friday was sort of a prelude for the next night when we had plans for dinner at Sophia’s Grotto in Roslindale before heading into Boston for a full night of cocktaling. Although I have no regrets about the back-to-back evenings out, my body ached on Sunday morning as I drove up to my parent’s place in NH.

Somehow I rallied and caught my second wind. As I was driving back to Boston with little brother and girlfriend asleep in the back seat of the car I even entertained thoughts of possibly heading to the gym or flipping open the laptop to get some work done.  However T.P.’s innocent suggestion that we enjoy the remaining sun and warmth was all I needed to ditch said plans and opt to find space on a patio on Tremont Street.  One drink turned into another and an hour+ later we decided to order dinner rather than call it an evening.

While we were sipping our beverages, I noticed a young guy making eye contact with me.  Keeping true to my 2010 New Years resolution to continue to smile at strangers and say “hello”, we started to strike up a conversation.  Within minutes, this young, handsome guy says to me, “Are you BosGuy?”  Turns out Matty reads my blog. Who knew I had such a handsome readership? I know family and a few friends read my ramblings, and I correspond with a couple of bloggers regularly, but meeting Matty has inspired me to up my game and try to give my blog more attention.

Thanks Matty for saying hello and best of luck to you on Patriot’s Day when you run your first marathon.  You made my day.

Life is what we make it or so the saying goes, but what happens when we give up on our aspirations and chalk them off as ‘unrealistic’?  Its human nature to want more and question ourselves, but there is a big difference between happiness and something close to happiness.   

I’m writing this, because today I was catching up with a friend who no longer lives in Boston but was visting.  As long as I’ve known this individual they have never been aware of how truly special they are; perhaps it was that characteristic which initially gave me pause long enough for a friendship to formulate because we met in the most unorthodox of ways.

While catching up, my friend said something to the effect of, “I don’t think you can have it all and I’m okay with that.” By having it “all” I believe they meant being in love with someone who returned that feeling.  This friend has been dating someone who sounds very nice and considerate but who was not necesarily more intimate than a close friend. When pressed if my friend missed that initimacy the reaction was something akin to “its been so long since I’ve had that, and I’m content now – I think that would just complicate my life.”

Oy – am I missing something? I’ve questioned myself plenty. I’ve wondered out loud (sometimes wistfully) what my life would be like with someone else, but I’ve never been resigned to my life with my partner.  This friend I speak about is incredibly intelligent and equally thoughtful. They have had more than their share of knocks, and I wonder if that is why they believe this is as much as they can hope for in a partner.

What does a good friend do in this situation?

I would sooner cut myself open than hurt this person, and I would never want them to break up and a few months down the road wish they had stayed together because they were alone and lonely.  Where are my single and unmarried friends?  What would you have said? What would you do?

Brian’s birthday party in Austin

This past Friday I surprised a friend who now lives in Austin, TX, and as near as I can tell – he had no idea. As you may recall, I visited this couple back in October. I wrote about that trip and included some photos in my entry, Weekend in Austin.

The birthday weekend was filled with a lot of laughing, eating, drinking (and crashing from either too much eating or simple exhaustion).  Laura and Brian certainly pulled out all the stops, and I shudder to think how many empty beer and wine bottles are sitting at this moment in their recycle bin on the sidewalk.  No doubt the neighbors must be seriously considering an intervention.  However in their defense – there were a lot of us at the house. I’ve included a group photo from Saturday night after we gorged ourselves at a smokehouse / BBQ called the Salt Lick.

Brian, I’d like to wish you a year of good health and happiness, and Laura thank you for all your hard work – it was fantastic, despite some bone-chilling temperatures (check out the photo below to see what cities were actually warmer than Austin on Brian’s birthday).  Lastly to the friends from San Francisco, Houston and elsewhere it was a pleasure to meet you and I hope to see you again soon.

My 2009 retrospective

One of the reasons I started my blog was to record my thoughts and with the year drawing to a close I wanted to include a retrospective. This includes some of the places I’ve been fortunate enough to visit, interesting things that have happened and pictures from 2009.

Although there were no Broadway shows this year, I still managed to see all sorts of performances ranging from the funny Pam Ann who started her U.S. tour here in Boston to the beautiful performance from the Alvin Ailey Ballet. All told I believe I probably saw 6-8 plays and musicals (including a very bawdy drag show at the Sydney Opera House). Although its not quite Masterpiece Theater, here is my favorite video from YouTube in 2009.

I travelled a bit this year too. I started 2009 in a very snowy Provincetown with Dr. Sergio and his boyfriend at the time. The drive will be memorable if only because it took us 7 hours to drive through the blizzard to get there. I went back to Cape Cod three more times – Provincetown in May and July and Brewster in October for my cousin’s wedding. I also visited Ogunquit, ME staying with friends on both visits in July and October (for halloween).

I also hopped on a plane a few times in 2010 and visited three new destinations: Puerto Rico in late January, Austin, TX in October and Australia in November & December.

Changes in 2009
This year my cousin Bill passed away. His passing was relatively sudden which in hindsight was a blessing since he did not suffer much and he did live a full and happy life so even though I’ve thought of him often in recent months it has been mostly wistful memories rather than sad thoughts.

I was also sad to see my Senator, Ted Kennedy, pass this year. Many despised the man but I have nothing but admiration for him. I recall seeing him speak when he received the Gerry Studds award from Fenway Health in 2008. I miss having such a powerful voice in Washington, D.C. Truly the GLBT community was dealt a horrible blow when his voice was silenced. I think his leadership has been sorely missed in the Senate these past few months as Congress struggles to enact meaningful health reform and expand coverage.

Fortunately, this year has not been about missing those who have passed. A lot of excellent changes were welcomed into my life as well, but probably the highlight was the birth of my niece Abby Dion. She is quite adorable.

My parents built a second home up in the lakes region of New Hampshire and construction more or less finished in August. This was a dream they shared for quite some time and seeing them make this a reality is really wonderful. It also shows me that through a lot of hard work (and a bit of luck for sure) dreams no matter how large are attainable – and in this case it was a big dream. Mom & Dad’s Lake House

Other things of note
This is sort of my catch-all to comment on all sorts of things, and one thing that I need to record (although I’ve not forgotten) is that in January 2009 I celebrated my 10th anniversary with my partner. We both have strong wills, short fuses and a flair for the dramatic so if I were a casual observer waging on this relationship at the start, I’m not sure I would have bet it would have lasted beyond its first year – let alone an entire decade.

My other half had his parents join us for 3 weeks this summer and I was sorry to see them leave at the end of their stay.  I do feel a sense of guilt that my partner lives so far away from his family, but I feel this sense of separation with his parents is hardest of all so I do love having them with us and enjoy spending time in Brazil visiting.

Something else I wanted to comment upon and had previously posted is my cousin Matt’s book Lifeguard on Duty. This was his first book and it was a labor of love for sure. He is fast at work on his next project which I’m sure will be quite beautiful. 

Thank you for the memories 2009… I look forward to 2010.

Click to play this Smilebox photobook: 2009 retrospective

Christmas holiday with friends

Unlike many, I find the Christmas holiday very relaxing.  However, this year I did not know what to expect as we were hosting two houseguests (one of whom we had never met).  As it turned out it was one of the best holidays in recent memory due in part to the wonderful time we had with our houseguests. During their 4-night stay, we hosted our annual Christmas Eve dinner; spent Christmas day at my parent’s in New Hampshire; and joined a great dinner party on the 26th to celebrate Boxing Day. Spread over three evenings – Christmas cheer seemed to be in abundance.  Each night we were up late chatting and laughing at nothing in particular and each morning I enjoyed exploring my hometown with our guests… Why is it I only do this when people visit from out of town? 
On Sunday morning, I stood on my curb waving goodbye to Joanna and Alicia as they drove off, and walking back to our apartment both my partner and I were commenting on how sad we were to see them leave only to get a message on our home phone from a friend we had not seen in 3+ years.  She was visiting Boston from Rio de Janeiro and was hoping we were in town so we could connect. Hearing Priscilla’s soft Brasilian accent speaking through the answering machine was like receiving a late Christmas present – completely unexpected and appreciated all the more precisely for that reason.
Sunday turned out to be like an extension of the Christmas holiday and today waking up to go back to work I found myself more relaxed than I had expected (considering how late I’d been up each night) and extremely content.  I’m sure it is natural for people to think back at the close of each year and I’m no exception.  The past few days have made me realize three things which I already knew but perhaps had not thought much about lately.  1) Good friendships are not always easy to come by 2) If you really value them you’ll make the effort to stay in touch 3) Spending a special time of year (like Christmas) with friends really does bring you closer together and make the holiday memorable.

Boxing Day photos

The annual Boxing Day dinner party my friend hosts was fantastic.  This year there were a few more faces and it had a true internationl flair with our additional houseguests Joanna from Australia and Alicia from France joining the party.  I’ve included a photo album from last night’s festivities. If you have speakers, turn them on to enjoy the cheesy holiday music.

Click to play this Smilebox photobook: Boxing Day Dinner 2009
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Happy Boxing Day

I hope that everyone reading this has had a relaxing Christmas holiday whether this is a day of special meaning and tradition or not.  Tonight, I will be heading over to my friend’s house for her traditional Boxing Day dinner party.
However, before I dwell on today’s events, I wanted to say thank you to my other half for surprising me.  We’ve been together for nearly eleven years now and yesterday in his own awkward way he gathered my family around to let them know that he would be taking me to Paris for my birthday this spring. Although my birthday is not for another few months, in 2010 it will be a milestone birthday and he wanted to celebrate it someplace that he knew had special meaning for me.  Suffice it to say, I am very excited and the planning for this trip will go a long way to distract me from the cold weather this winter.

Our Christmas celebrations really started on Christmas Eve. We had a delicious dinner and friends started dropping by to visit around 9 pm.  The following day was also wonderful.  We spent the day up at my parent’s house in New Hampshire. Our two houseguests who arrived on Wednesday, December 23rd have added so much to our holiday celebrations this year and I was pleased that they had such a nice time with all my family.  Both are young women from other countries and with their own family traditions, but I think that everyone genuinely had a wonderful day.

Pizzey family strikes

I genuinely love giving gifts, and if giving the gift is a surprise then some how it makes the entire experience even more exciting.  So why is it a shock if the tables are turned?  That is what just happened to me.

I would never deny someone the opportunity to surprise someone with a gift, but tonight I was on the receiving end of the experience and it just shocked me so much because it was so generous that I did not quite know how to react. Am I that provincial?  I’m not one to kiss and tell so I don’t want to get into specifics, but suffice it to say, the Pizzey family is quite sneaky and they’ve not only surprised me (well Sergio and me to be precise), but they have really made me a bit emotional by their gesture.  I’m quite excited to get to Melbourne to meet this amazing family – that is for certain.

Our weekend with Jo

Last night I said good bye to a friend I first met eight years ago.  When we first met, Jo was a student traveling from Melbourne Australia to attend a summer program at Harvard University.  Because her flight was delayed she arrived in Boston too late to check-in at Harvard and she was in a bit of a panic trying to figure out where she might spend the night.  My other half offered our place as well as a drive the next day to Harvard to help her get checked-in.  Since that time we’ve remained excellent friends and stayed in touch via e-mail and the occassional call.

When we booked our trip to Australia, we immediately called Jo to let her know we would be stopping in Melbourne to see her again and to meet her family.  However, Jo surprised us both when she told us she would be finishing her MBA program at Duke University and would be in N.C. when we were in Melbourne.  Fortunately, she was able to come up and visit us this weekend.  We had a wonderful time showing her Boston and bringing her back to the Harvard campus to see her old dorm and other places which she remembered so fondly.  Fortunately, the weather cooperated and we spent all day Sunday walking Newbury and Boylston Street.  We ate well too with dinners at Rocca and Mistral, which made each evening quite special.
Jo has provided us with some excellent tips for our upcoming trip so we will spend the next day or two revising our itinerary by adding an extra night in Melbourne – we now have been invited to dinner at her grandparents house. She has also helped us identify the perfect place to stay for an overnight in Daylesford which is approximately 1 hours drive from Melbourne called, Peppers Hepburn Springs Retreat. They have some lovely photographs of the spa / resort here.

Weekend in Austin

I got back from Austin late on Sunday night and had a great time visiting friends that moved there from San Francisco a couple of years ago. Fortunately, the weather was beautiful so we were able to spend nearly all our time outside; relaxing on our friend’s beautiful back deck; walking through the city; and dining alfresco. 

Boston has many excellent restaurants but very few of those make what I would consider even okay Mexican cuisine so we really made the most of our time in Austin eating Mexican almost exclusively.  One exception to that was our dinner on Friday night at Vespaio Ristorante on S. Congress (SoCo). This was a cute Italian restaurant in what appeared to be a section of town in transition.  There were several other intersting restaurants along S. Congress and I look forward to returning to this neighborhood on future visits.

However, in my opinion my best meal was on Saturday night in North Austin at Fonda San Miguel. The restaurant claims to provide “distinctive Mexican cuisine” and I have to agree.  I can still taste the delicious relleno de picadillo which was stuffed with shredded pork, almonds and raisins. The jitomate sauce was a delicious compliment and if you happen to find yourself at this restaurant – it would be the plate I would recommend.

I’ve also included photos from our recent trip since images always do a better job telling a story.

Click to play this Smilebox slideshow: Austin Texas - Oct 2009
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Heading to Austin, TX

On Friday, I’m leaving to visit a very good friend who I’ve known since grade school.  A couple years back he had a beautiful wedding out in Healdsburg, CA and shortly after he and his wife moved to Austin, TX.  I’ve never heard anything unkind said about this big town.  I have no expectations and do not know what they have planned for our first trip to their home.  We arrive on Friday (late morning) and leave for home on Sunday evening so it will be a quick trip but I think we’ll probably be heading down again as they seem to have settled into Austin and since Jet Blue now flies non-stop from Boston it is fairly easy to get there.

Flashback Friday: September 11, 2001

Not all flashbacks are pleasant, but I would be remiss not to mention how September 11, 2001 impacted the more than 170 families in Massachusetts who lost loved ones.  I recall that back on September 9, 2001 I had said good night to my good friend Graham (pictured above) who was leaving for L.A. in two days. We were to connect the following weekend. 

Realizing the personal nature of the tragedy on the afternoon of September 11th as friends called me to find out if Graham had made his flight is etched in my memory, and I imagine will stay with me for the rest of my life.  Taken too soon and still missed today, my flashback is in memory of all those people who lost someone they loved on Tuesday, September 11, 2001 but for me mostly about my friend Graham Berkeley.  Listed below is a quick video of Boston’s humble but very serene memorial to that tragedy. 

My quest to find a husband

A very good friend of mine is giving love another try… what I mean by this is that she has decided to be more proactive and attempt to find true love over the next 365 days. To maintain her focus, provide an insight into what it is like to be a single woman living in Boston and to record and share her stories (humorous and otherwise) she has created a blog called My Quest to Find a Husband. The blog boldly states “I have made pact with myself to do everything I can, within reason of course, to find a husband within the next year!”

Thus far there has been no dating drama shared – I suppose she needs to go on a date for that to happen. However, her first few entries showcase her wit and self-deprecating nature assuring the blog will be an easy read for anyone who visits the site. So far she has written about an evening out with girlfriends at a restaurant she favors (check out the embarrassing wardrobe malfunction of sorts that happened to her), pseudo-stalking at the gym, and online dating frustration (which knowing my friend seemed very restrained) we’ll see how long that lasts.

Check out the blog – www.husbandquest.blogspot.com. I’ll have to be sure to share with my friend the vlog that I posted late last night about dating etiquette (immediately below this entry).