Category Archives: Relationships

Ways to meet guys that don’t involve Grindr or gay bars

Since my post from earlier this week, Middle aged men are more susceptible to feeling lonely,proved to be so popular, I thought I would also give a shout out to an article I read from Gareth Johnson earlier this week,  7 ways to meet guys  that don’t involve Grindr or gay barsIn the article he offers up these seven suggestions to which I’ve offered my own commentary.

1. Talk to Strangers: I would particularly like to see guys from Boston take some cues from Gareth who opens the article suggesting we get comfortable with talking to strangers. Perhaps his point resonates with me so strongly because that is exactly how Sergio and I met. There happened to be lots of alcohol and some vintage Whitney blaring on a dance floor in Cambridge as well but we were both strangers and one of us (that would be me) stepped up and said hello.

2. Out at Work: His suggestions continue with being true to yourself at work by not being closeted. It still amazes me how many people I meet who feel that either they cannot or will not talk about their personal life at work out of fear of retaliation or not being promoted. But since many of us spend so much of our life at work it only makes sense to be open to sharing aspects of your personal life there.

3. & 4. Play Sport & Volunteer: Suggestions 3 & 4 respectively are to join a sports club / team or volunteer. Fortunately Boston offers great opportunities to do both. This past fall I shared about 20 different gay sports leagues you can join here and I regularly write about volunteering opportunities through Gay for Good Boston.

5. Go to the Gym: I jokingly refer to the gym as the gay man’s temple, but it’s a public space where you will meet and get to know people if you go regularly.

6. & 7. Network & Take Risks: I think of as putting yourself out there.

All of this is easier said than done, and I recognize doing this won’t guarantee you’ll connect and make friends or meet someone special but it is a start.

Why does it get harder to date a contemporary as we get older

gay-men-datingDavid Artavia penned a blog post on a few months ago asking Is it Hard for Older Gay Guys to Date Men Their Own Age?”

I generally shy away from topics like this on my blog because I realize that I have no current experience on this subject and if it weren’t for the stories of my single gay friends I wouldn’t have the slightest idea of how difficult it is to meet and date a peer when you are no longer in your 20s.

Artavia in part blames that difficulty on the fact that for many older gay men we become obsessed (his word not mine) with youth and beauty, which might blind them from dating contemporaries who they have more in common. While I think that could be true for some, I also think that there are two important other reasons it gets increasingly difficult.

First, most everyone is single in their 20s so you have a much larger dating pool of contemporaries to meet and date. That changes over time with more friends pairing up, leaving a gap that can only be filled by dating people outside your age; with there always being more, younger single men than older (or so it seems). Second, as we get older we become more settled and making space for an equal who also has their own routines, relationships and responsibilities can be a tricky thing to make work.  Either way dating can be tough for the relationship-minded and I’m curious to get your thoughts so please share.


humor, funnyI know I’ve posted this before but I thought it worthy of a re-post.

Amex #ExpressLove campaign comes to Ptown

Amex, American ExpressAs part of the recently launched #ExpressLove campaign, American Express is headed to Provincetown to continue the Pride celebrations and bring together the people of Ptown. The #ExpressLove campaign aims to inspire people to share the ways they express their love for each other – in big ways and small.

When: Wednesday, August 17
Time: 3:00 PM – 5:00 PM
Where: Spindler’s 386 Commercial Street

If you like piña coladas

gay couple, gay romanceIt was the first thing that came to mind when I stumbled upon this romantic photo. If you don’t get the reference, then I suppose it might not make as much sense but it remains a beautiful photograph.

Here’s to hoping that you end your day with an unexpected embrace and kiss.

Love at first sight

Love at first sightA few years ago I posted this Youtube video entitled, Love At First Sight.  I forgot about it until my brother asked for it again. The nearly three minute voice message left by an intoxicated and overly excited woman convinced she has just met her soulmate is filled with cringe-worthy comments like:

“Call me, email me, IM me, fax me, page me…”
“And we both have the same interest in yo-yo’s.”
“I know you said you had to leave urgently. I hope that everything’s okay.”

Boston’s Love Locks



Back in 2013, in honor of the death of DOMA, three small heart shaped locks were shackled to the ugly chain link fence over the Massachusetts Turnpike on Massachusetts Avenue in the Back Bay.

Since the summer of 2013, many more locks have been added and now the chain link fence is covered by several hundred padlocks; each presumably to symbolize and commemorate relationships here in Boston. Some of the locks have names, dates, or quotes written on them, which you can read if you look closely.  Boston Love Locks