Category Archives: Relationships

It seems that we have become less of a caring society and I think a large part of that might be from a lack of empathy. I have a sister who is a seventh grade school teacher and she shared this video from Brené Brown on the difference between empathy and sympathy and more importantly why it is important to be able to be more empathetic. If you have a minute or two, check it out.

About Brené Brown
Casandra Brené Brown (born November 18, 1965) is an American professor, lecturer, author, and podcast host. Brown holds the Huffington Foundation’s Brené Brown Endowed Chair at the University of Houston’s Graduate College of Social Work and is a visiting professor in management at McCombs School of Business at the University of Texas at Austin.

Having spent her career studying the concepts of courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy and having authored seven books including five New York Times best-sellers, Brown hosts the Unlocking Us podcast, and her TED talk, “The Power of Vulnerability”, has been widely viewed. More about Brené, here.

Earlier today I saw this image posted on Twitter by @OnlyInBoston. Who can say how this data gets compiled but I do find it mildly entertaining. Apparently “Couples Cooking Classes” is the most frequently googled gift idea here. What is the most frequently googled Valentine’s Day-related gift idea in your state?

Earlier this month The New York Times had an interesting article called “The Power of Positive People“, which suggested that our focus on physical health (e.g. diet and exercise) — while important — is only part of the equation for our well-being. The article said that researchers have found that happiness and other emotions spread between people in direct contact and can influence things like obesity, anxiety and overall happiness.

Are your friendships giving you a boost or bringing you down?

While I don’t find the hypothesis surprising, I think it is an important reminder of how important it is to have good friends. We’ve all faced adversity and felt down – it is part of life. Having friends who you can surround yourself with who will help you find the silver linings, be there to cheer you on or give you that added bit of courage really can make a difference. Do you know someone who is struggling at the moment? Give them a call and make plans to meet up. A fun evening together might be the best medicine.

The NYT article was in part based on the research published a few years ago, here: Detecting Emotional Contagion in Massive Social Networks.

Since my post from earlier this week, Middle aged men are more susceptible to feeling lonely,proved to be so popular, I thought I would also give a shout out to an article I read from Gareth Johnson earlier this week,  7 ways to meet guys  that don’t involve Grindr or gay bars. In the article he offers up these seven suggestions to which I’ve offered my own commentary.

1. Talk to Strangers: I would particularly like to see guys from Boston take some cues from Gareth who opens the article suggesting we get comfortable with talking to strangers. Perhaps his point resonates with me so strongly because that is exactly how Sergio and I met. There happened to be lots of alcohol and some vintage Whitney blaring on a dance floor in Cambridge as well but we were both strangers and one of us (that would be me) stepped up and said hello.

2. Out at Work: His suggestions continue with being true to yourself at work by not being closeted. It still amazes me how many people I meet who feel that either they cannot or will not talk about their personal life at work out of fear of retaliation or not being promoted. But since many of us spend so much of our life at work it only makes sense to be open to sharing aspects of your personal life there.

3. & 4. Play Sport & Volunteer: Suggestions 3 & 4 respectively are to join a sports club / team or volunteer. Fortunately Boston offers great opportunities to do both. This past fall I shared about 20 different gay sports leagues you can join here and I regularly write about volunteering opportunities through Gay for Good Boston.

5. Go to the Gym: I jokingly refer to the gym as the gay man’s temple, but it’s a public space where you will meet and get to know people if you go regularly.

6. & 7. Network & Take Risks: I think of as putting yourself out there.

All of this is easier said than done, and I recognize doing this won’t guarantee you’ll connect and make friends or meet someone special but it is a start.

I know I’ve posted this before but I thought it worthy of a re-post.

As part of the recently launched #ExpressLove campaign, American Express is headed to Provincetown to continue the Pride celebrations and bring together the people of Ptown. The #ExpressLove campaign aims to inspire people to share the ways they express their love for each other – in big ways and small.

When: Wednesday, August 17
Time: 3:00 PM – 5:00 PM
Where: Spindler’s 386 Commercial Street
RSVP: expresslove@papermag.com