Category Archives: Friends

Ryan Landry and The Gold Dust Orphans

Way back in September Ryan Landry and The Gold Dust Orphans announced that their annual holiday musical would be The Rocky Horror Menorah. I encouraged everyone to get tickets to the production, which runs through December 23rd.

Last night a group of about 15 of us went to see the demented musical and Landry and his cast didn’t disappoint. While there is no doubt that Landry is a creative genius, my enjoyment of his production is directly related to the pop culture movies, shows, etc. he spoofs, and I’ve always loved The Rocky Horror Picture Show. The costumes and musical numbers are hilarious and the cast has brilliant comedic timing and can read the audience so well. I don’t know if any tickets remain for this last week, but if you’ve yet to see this show – get your tickets now!

Below is an impromptu intermission photo Sergio snapped of nearly all who joined us last night. For the record, those smiles were on everyone’s face all night long and not just for the photograph.

Remembering 9/11

911 Memorial

This day continues to be a somber one for me and many I know. At the start of each September, I inevitably think about my friend, Graham, who was flying to California on United Flight 175 to attend a work meeting. I also remember and feel for the colleagues and friends of Sergio’s who were on that flight because at that time Sergio was a United Airlines flight attendant based out of Boston.

There is not much I can say all these years later that has not already been said, but for those families and friends who lost loved ones on the hijacked flights, for those who were injured and traumatized, and for all those first responders and citizens who were hurt or died aiding in the recovery following that terrible day, this post is for you.

Boston gay sports clubs / teams

At the start of each academic year, tens of thousands move into Boston.  Whether you are new to Boston or just looking for an excuse to be more active and make friends, joining one of the many LGBTQ+ sports teams and clubs can be one way to do that.

Some sports leagues welcome beginners while others are more competitive (most are the former – not the latter). Additionally, some of these teams/leagues are seasonal so even though this post has gone live in September, not every league is in session at the moment. Look through the list of 2+ dozen sports leagues and see which one is right for you.

Below, I’ve listed active gay sports clubs/teams. If you see that I am missing one, please let me know and I’ll add it to this list of organizations.

Basketball (Boston Gay Basketball League)

Billiards (Stonewall Sports)

Bowling (Beantown North League) | Monday Night Bowling League | Pride Sports Bowling

Climbing (Queer Inclusive Climbing Klub)

Cornhole League (Pride Sports) | Cornhole League (Stonewall Sports)

Dodgeball (Pride Sports) | Dodgeball (Stonewall Sports)

Football (Boston FLAG Flag Football)

Hockey (Boston Pride Hockey League)

Kickball (Pride Sports) | Kickball (Stonewall Sports)

Pickleball (Pride Sports) | Pickleball (Stonewall Sports)

Rowing (Boston Gay Rowers Club)

Rugby (Boston Ironsides Rugby Club)

Running (Frontrunners Boston) | Running (Gay Urban Running League)

Skiing & Snowboarding (Outryders)

Soccer (Boston Strikers Soccer League)

Softball (Beantown League)

Swimming (Liquid Assets New England Swimming)

Tennis Club (Tennis 4 All)

Volleyball (Cambridge/Boston Volleyball Assoc) | Pride Sports League | Stonewall League

Wrestling (Boston League of Wicked Wrestlers)

 Another great resource is the Facebook group, B.A.G.S. (Boston Alliance of Gay Sports).

Making friends in Boston LGBTQ social groups

With the influx of so many new residents at the start of each academic year, I like to update and share this post. If you are new to the area or looking to meet more people outside of a bar setting, the groups listed below might be a good first step. 

If you don’t see relevant or up-to-date information in the links shared below, contact me, and I can help find a contact for that group to learn more. 

BAGLY is a youth-led, adult-supported social support organization committed to social justice, and creating, sustaining, and advocating for programs and policies for gay youth (volunteers are always welcome).

Boston Gay Men’s Chorus is one of New England’s largest and most successful community-based choruses.  Auditions will be held on September 10, 2023.

Boston Gay Men’s Books Club is a monthly book club on MeetUp that focuses on literature by and about gay men. Their next MeetUp is on 9/19 at the BPL to discuss Virology by Joseph Osmundson.

Boston Gaymers, game night at The Alley (photo source @bostongaymers)

Boston Gaymers is a thriving gaymer community, that holds various in-person and virtual events to bring together members and to have fun.

Boston LesBiGay Urban Foundation creates safe spaces for events to help build lasting relationships by breaking the cycle of dysfunction in marginalized communities and helping to make medical and mental health awareness a priority to help lift up the black/brown/Latino LGBTQ+ innercity community. 

Boston Prime Timers is a social organization of mature gay and bisexual men and their friends who join together for educational, support, and social activities.

Boston Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence an areligious Order of Queer, Clown Nuns who pledge to promulgate joy and to eliminate stigmatic guilt by volunteering, activism, entertaining, and educating people.

Boston Sober Gay Sundays is a private FB group that organizes social events for people who identify as sober in the LGBTQIA+ community. Learn more about the group, members, and activities they organize by requesting to join the group.

Dignity Boston is a progressive, inclusive community of gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender Catholics and their allies.

Fenway Health has been serving the local LGBT community for more than 40 years; the Fenway and AAC are always looking for volunteers.

Frolic (Formerly Men of Melanin Magic) is an active social group for those who identify as queer men of color. They host an annual Men of Color Weekend in Provincetown called Frolic, and co-host Bussdown Fridays with Gay Mafia Boston at Legacy each Friday night among several other monthly events.

Gay Beer Club is a Bosto-based organization that produces events and gatherings for members of the gay community.

Gay For Good mobilizes the LGBT community to interact with the greater community by volunteering their time with different monthly activities.

Gays for Patsy is a country western dancing club that meets weekly on Sundays at the Calvary Church, 300 Mass. Ave. 6:30-8:30 pm. The first hour is for beginners.

History Project is a volunteer-driven organization established in 1980 that focuses on preserving the history of Boston’s LGBT community to make it accessible to future generations.

Keshet works to ensure the full equality of all LGBTQ Jews and their families. The group also creates spaces in which all queer Jewish youth feel seen and valued and work to advance LGBTQ rights nationwide.

LesbianNightLife is a very active social group that hosts events throughout the month including monthly tea dances at Dorchester Brewing Company, single social nights, harbor cruise parties, and more.

LGBT Elders of Color is a local group that conducts outreach to isolated LGBT older adults of color who build community through events, and creative programs.

Mass Asian & Pacific Islanders (MAP) is a group that provides health counseling & support, referral & screening services, as well as general health promotion and advocacy for APIs in the Boston metro area and beyond.

Mass Bears & Cubs is a non-profit corporation, organized to provide and promote an inclusive LGBT+ community through charitable fund raising and other community events.

Mountain Tops if you like to get out and hike, check out this gay hiking group in Boston that organizes trips and hikes regularly.

Naked Yoga for Men Naked Yoga For Men has been meeting since January 2000. For most of its history, it has met twice per week.

Non-Scene Gay Friends of Greater Boston is a place for the LGBTQ+ community to hang out, make friends, explore Boston, and have fun doing a wide variety of activities typically separate from the gay bar “scene.”

OUTbreath offers a safe space for those who identify as queer, lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or questioning to come together to explore the practice of meditation and support each other in the community.

Queer Boston Board Gamers is a friendly LGBTQ+ meet-up group that connects regularly to play board games.

Yankee Cruising Club brings LGBTQ+ boaters together to meet, make friends, and most importantly get out on the water. You don’t need to have a boat to join – just a passion for boating.

Apologies if I have overlooked any gay organizations in the area. Add information in the comments section or reach out to me, and I’ll be happy to add your group to this list.

Tony from Tennessee

I considered Tony a friend. News of his death was a shock but not completely surprising. I hadn’t been able to connect with him since early May and suspected something had happened. I’d left several messages that went unanswered and anyone who knows Tony would know that’s unlike him. As a result, I had a sense of impending dread, but as long as there was no news, I could assume he might suddenly ring me while driving home after being with the Attorney or returning from an errand.

For those who didn’t know him, Tony was a painter by profession but a writer at heart. He grew up poor in rural Tennessee and he had one great love, someone I only know as “The Attorney”. Tony and I initially met because we both wrote blogs and had a slight obsession with Twitter. His first blog included some unbelievably heartfelt stories about his adolescence and sexual awakening, his mother who passed away far too early (much like him), his distant father, and his aging grandmother (a.k.a. Granny) who he took care of until she passed.

It may seem strange to mourn a person I never met in person and who lived a 1,000 miles away, but we became friends over the years. It breaks my heart to think about his tragic death and his life partner who he leaves behind. Rest in peace my friend. You are very much loved and very much missed.

@TennesseeTony

Remembering 9/11

911 Memorial

Even after all these years, this day continues to be a somber one for me and many people who I know. I still very much feel for the family of my friend who lost their son, Graham Berkeley, who was on United Flight 175, and I feel for the colleagues and friends of Sergio’s who were also on that flight.

At the time, Sergio worked as a flight attendant for United Airlines and was based out of Boston. He almost exclusively flew the nonstop flights from Boston to Los Angeles and San Francisco and may have been scheduled to fly UAL 175 that day (we never went back to check his schedule), but as chance had it he had taken the time off to be with his family, and he was in Brazil on September 11, 2001.

For those families and friends who lost loved ones on the hijacked flights, for those who were injured and traumatized and for all those first responders and citizens who were hurt or died aiding in the recovery following that terrible day, this post is for you.

Making friends: Boston LGBTQ social groups

With the influx  of so many new residents at the start of each academic year, I like to update and share this post. If you are new to the area or looking to meet more people outside of a bar setting, the groups listed below might be a good first step. 

If you don’t see relevant or up-to-date information in the links shared below, contact me, and I can help find a contact for that group to learn more. 

BAGLY is a youth-led, adult-supported social support organization committed to social justice, and creating, sustaining and advocating for programs and policies for gay youth (volunteers are always welcome).

Boston Gay Men’s Chorus is one of New England’s largest and most successful community-based choruses.  Auditions will be held January 19 and 23, 2022.

Boston Gay Men’s Books Club is monthly book club on MeetUp that focuses on literature by and about gay men. Their next MeetUp is on 9/19 at the BPL to discuss Virology by Joseph Osmundson.

Boston Gaymers is a thriving gaymer community, that holds various in-person and virtual events to bring together members and to have fun.

Boston Lesbigay Urban Foundation creates safe spaces for events to help build lasting relationships by breaking the cycle of disfunction in marginalized communities and helping to make medical and mental health awareness a priority to help lift up the black / brown / latino LGBTQ+ inner city community. 

Boston Prime Timers is a social organization of mature gay and bisexual men and their friends who join together for educational, support, and social activities.

Boston Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence an areligious Order of Queer, Clown Nuns who pledge to promulgate joy and to eliminate stigmatic guilt by volunteering, activism, entertaining, and educating people.

Boston Sober Gay Sundays is a private FB group that organizes social events for people who identify as sober in the LGBTQIA+ community. Learn more about the group, members, and activities they organize by requesting to join the group.

Dignity Boston is a progressive, inclusive community of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender Catholics and their allies.

Fenway Health has been serving the local LGBT community for more than 40 years; the Fenway and AAC are always looking for volunteers.

Gay Beer Club is a Boston based organization that produces events and gatherings for members of the gay community.

Gay For Good mobilizes the LGBT community to interact with the greater community by volunteering their time with different monthly activities.

gay boston

Gays for Patsy is a country western dancing club that meets weekly on Sundays at the Calvary Church, 300 Mass. Ave. 6:30-8:30 pm. The first hour is for beginners.

History Project is a volunteer-driven organization established in 1980 that focuses on preserving the history of Boston’s LGBT community to make it accessible to future generations.

Keshet works to ensure the full equality of all LGBTQ Jews and their families. The group also create spaces in which all queer Jewish youth feel seen and valued and work to advance LGBTQ rights nationwide.

LGBT Elders of Color is a local group that conducts outreach to isolated LGBT older adults of color who build community through events, creative programs.

Mass Asian & Pacific Islanders (MAP) is a group that provide health counseling & support, referral & screening services, as well as general health promotion and advocacy for APIs in the Boston metro area and beyond.

Mass Bears & Cubs is a non-profit corporation, organized to provide and promote an inclusive LGBT+ community through charitable fund raising and other community events.

Men of Melanin Magic is an active social group for those who identify as queer men of color. They host an annual Men of Color Weekend in Provincetown and co-host Bussdown Fridays with Gay Mafia Boston at Legacy each Friday night.

Mountain Tops if you like to get out and hike, check out this gay hiking group in Boston that organizes trips and hikes regularly.

Naked Yoga for Men Naked Yoga For Men has been meeting since January 2000. For most of its history it has met twice per week.

Non-Scene Gay Friends of Greater Boston is a place for the LGBTQ+ community to hang out, make friends, explore Boston, and have fun doing a wide variety of activities typically separate from the gay bar “scene.”

Opus Affair while not exclusively a LGBTQ+ organization, it draws many from the community and is probably best known for their monthly cocktail parties to help raise money for local arts organizations.

OUTbreath offers a safe space for those who identify as queer, lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or questioning to come together to explore the practice of meditation and support each other in community.

Queer Boston Board Gamers is a friendly LGBTQ+ meet up group that connects regularly to play board games.

Yankee Cruising Club brings LGBTQ+ boaters together to meet, make friends and most importantly get out on the water. You don’t need to have a boat to join – just a passion for boating.

Apologies if I have overlooked any gay organizations in the area. Add information in the comments section or reach out to me, and I’ll be happy to add your group to this list.

2022 Summer recap

Labor Day Weekend officially brings the summer season to a close in New England. The warm weather will continue to bring people to the beaches but the summer-state-of-mind shifts back to reality when I return to the office on Tuesday so I thought I’d recap what has been a wonderful summer.

MAY: Hello Captiva Island
Our first large group vacation since the COVID-19 outbreak took place over Memorial Day Weekend. Our friends David (taking the selfie), Mark (next to him in the green polo) and Rodney (in the back with the I ❤️ Fig Newtons shirt) organized this amazing trip. It was a great start to the summer season.

JUNE: Summah in the City
We spent most of June in Boston and highlights included going to a few Red Sox games at Fenway Park and going to M Street Beach (a.k.a. Kiki Beach) in Southie on the weekends. I love Boston in the summer.

@Fenway Park with Paul
Goofing around before the crowds arrive

JULY: Ptown & Brazil
We spent the July 4th holiday in Provincetown relaxing at our friend Marco’s beautiful home, and seeing friends, including the proud new owners of the Crown & Anchor, Paolo Martini and Jonathan Hawkins. They’ve done an amazing job since purchasing this inn, restaurant and entertainmnet complex, and I couldn’t be happier for them.

New owners of Crown & Anchor, Paolo Martini and Jonathan Hawkins
Hanging with DJ James Cerne at July 4th Crown & Anchor Pool Party

Then it was off to Belo Horizonte, Brazil to celebrate Sergio’s Mom’s 90th birthday at the end of the month. Kudos to Sergio for pulling off an amazing party. Below is a selfie I took to show off Belo Horizonte (Sergio’s hometown).

Belo Horizonte, Brazil

AUGUST: Back to Provincetown for Carnival
After unpacking from Brazil, we turned around a week or so later to go to Provinctown. We spent Carnival Week enjoying drinks and meals with friends, seeing a few shows, and visiting “Boys Beach”. Below are a few photos from our week at Carnival. BTW, Carnival 2023 theme is Land of Toys so start thinking about your costumes.

I’ll definitely miss the summer of 2022. Much thanks to Mother Nature for giving Boston and much of New England one of the best summers in recent memory.

9/11: Twenty years later

911, September 11th

September 11, 2001 impacted many people in the Boston area especially hard. The flights that crashed into the World Trade Center left Logan Airport. Those planes were filled with people from Boston so despite the fact that 20 years have passed it is still a day that is tinged with sadness.

Like many in the area, I lost a close friend that day. My friend, Graham Berkeley (shown above) remains frozen in time as a 30-something who had a devilish personality and wicked sense of humor. If he were alive today he’d be in his mid 50s (I think 56), but sadly that isn’t the case. While life continues, I still feel for those families and friends who lost loved ones as well as those who were injured and traumatized in the wake of those attacks. This post is also for all of you.

Happy Valentine’s Day

Joe Andrews, handsome, hunk, naked

I’m sharing this photo of my friend Joe from a few years ago, because I think it is a visually stimulating way to acknowledge this day. Joe lives in San Francisco and is a successful coach and trainer so if you’re in the Bay Area and looking to get into shape check him out at rebel-warrior.com. He’ll provide ample “gympsiration” and is a great guy.

Happy Valentine’s Day

Happy Thanksgiving

I recognize that many people may not be with friends or family this Thanksgiving because of the coronavirus. It has certainly seemed like a long slog to get to this point but with a new administration coming into office and promising results from Pfizer, Moderna and AstraZeneca, I feel as if we may be rounding the corner and truly have something to be thankful for.

Wishing you a happy, safe and healthy Thanksgiving and holiday season.

Remembering Graham Berkeley

911, September 11thFrozen in time and in our hearts, Graham Berkeley  (b. January 12, 1964 – d. September 11, 2001).

Weekend in San Francisco

Rob and SergioThis past weekend Sergio and I went to San Francisco to see a friend I’ve known since childhood get married. It had been about ten years since Sergio had last visited so we played the role of tourist, walking all over and visiting places like Noe Valley, The Castro, North Beach, SoMa, The Embarcadero and more.

We stayed at The Adagio Hotel on Geary Street just a few blocks from Union Square. The boutique-style hotel fit our needs perfectly, but it was upsetting to see how many homeless have settled in downtown. There are still many beautiful parts of the city but it was still unsettling and made me wonder what the city can do to reverse this trend and help these people get back on their feet.

It was great being a tourist with Sergio (I took my first trolley ride) and to connect with friends in San Francisco but it was Jeff and Ritch’s wedding that brought us to San Francisco. The weather on Saturday could not have been better for their ceremony, which took place on a ship called “The Merlot”. Jeff and Ritch exchanged vows under the Bay Bridge with the skyline as a backdrop and after photos were taken as the sun set behind the Golden Gate Bridge.

The sky was incredibly clear and unseasonably warm, making it incredibly picturesque and providing Sergio and I with some amazing views. I’ve shared a few of my favorite photos from the evening below. Despite the city’s ongoing issues with providing affordable homes and caring for those who seem unable to care for themselves, San Francisco remains one of my favorite cities to visit.

Bay Bridge, San Francisco

Graham Berkeley

January 12, 1964 – September 11, 2001

Kiko from Boston Chops featured by The Boston Globe

gay boston,

Photo credit: The Boston Globe

Anyone who knows Sergio or me, know that we regularly frequent Boston Chops South End on Washington Street.  A big reason is because of the staff who are a tight-knit group of fun professionals who make their bar is one of the best places to meet up with friends for a drink in the neighborhood.

One of my favorite bartenders in Boston is Kiko. His flamboyance, wit and charm is a draw.  While Boston Chops is not a gay bar – it is a place where the 30-something and 40-something gay men of Boston can often be found meeting for cocktails or grabbing a dinner, which only adds to the appeal when Kiko is holding court (a.k.a. tending bar).

Next time you go into Boston Chops congratulate Kiko for the feature in The Boston Globe and take a moment to read the full article, Getting Salty with Frank ‘Kiko’ Dutra of  Boston Chops

P.S. Kiko – I agree with you. To this day I still miss Pho Republique and I love the colorful regulars like Judy who frequent Boston Chops SE.