BosGuy

Below is an abridged email from an employee after they quit their job. It is well written and very funny – enjoy.

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As many of you probably know, yesterday was officially my last day. But before I’m just another memory of coworkers gone-by, I wanted to take this opportunity to let you know what a great and distinct pleasure it has been to type “…my last day.”

Over the 57 months I’ve hoped and prayed and wished upon stars I might one day leave this company. And now, when this dream has finally become a reality, please know I could not have reached this goal without your unending lack of support. Words cannot express my gratitude for the words of gratitude you did not express.

I would especially like to thank my managers:  In an age where miscommunication is all too common, you consistently impressed and inspired me with the sheer magnitude of your misinformation. It takes a strong person to admit their mistakes—it takes a stronger person to attribute their mistakes to me.

You have taught me more than I could ever ask for and, in most cases, ever did ask for. I have been fortunate enough to work with some absolutely interchangeable supervisors on a wide variety of seemingly identical projects – an invaluable lesson in overcoming daily tedium in overcoming daily tedium in overcoming daily tedium.

Your demands were high and your patience short, but I take great solace knowing my work was, as stated on my annual review, “exceeds expectations”—high praise indeed, until realizing how farcical those words are when a salary increase of less than 2% goes with them. Amazing how one can exceed all expectations at every turn and yet the distance between compensation ceiling and actual annual salary keeps growing wider and wider.

To the few people with whom I’ve interacted, here are my personalized notes of farewell:
To M: You’re the ONLY reason my sanity is still intact.
To N: You’re amazing. Thank you for sharing your positive vibes and energy, great attitude, and wonderful sense of humor with me.
To H: I’m sorry you set me up to fail. Maybe one day you’ll get it.
To A: Get over yourself. You’re not a nice person. Own it.